To the women that live in my area, I'm not following you home and stop fucking acting like I am.

To the women that live in my area, I'm not following you home and stop fucking acting like I am.


I was going to comment, but I think your original post combined with the edits spoke for themselves. Have some self-awareness. And maybe don’t ask for empathy when you’re referring to women you don’t even know as “fat ugly feminists”.


Yup... also to think that women should stop being aware and cautious because it bothers him is just hilarious! Like how dare you to make sure you're safe woman!


Reading through your post I felt bad until you started getting aggressive. Then I was kind of like, “Wonder when this is going to go south and devolve into the nonsense that we’re all used to.” Get to the edits and see, “who wants to follow a fat, ugly feminist,” and, “Treat men with the respect they deserve,” and was like: Woop, there it is. Editing to add: I can’t imagine a man reacting adversely to my presence in a non-threatening manner (like jogging away from me or pretending to be on a phone call) and reacting with, “That man should show women the respect we deserve. As if I was interested in following or assaulting his unattractive ass.”


The old saying is definitely true, isn't it? "Q: What does a man most fear from women? A: Being made to look bad/foolish. Q: What does a woman fear most from men? A: Being killed." These two things are not the same.


You say you focus on your music and don't really notice other people... If that's true, why does this bother you so much? I get it, people acting that way doesn't feel good... It feels like they assume you are a threat, when you know you aren't. But they don't know that and the response is in the category of "better safe than sorry". I have been followed, catcalled and stalked (for months). I can tell you that fear matters a lot more to me than how some random stranger feels. If I perceive threat, I will act accordingly. That being said, I am the stand your ground type and don't perceive threat unless someone is acting weird/threatening. It's fine to be pissed about it... That's what this sub is for. Just know that it really doesn't have anything to do with you, if you aren't a creep. I'm pissed about the dumb shit I have to put up with just walking... But it's not personal and shitty people can fuck off. Just ignore it and you will stop noticing.


Yep. I was literally followed in the last month. I turned around and yelled “are you following me?!” And he said “no well…yes” and I yelled that is not okay don’t ever do that again leave me the fuck alone” and he ran off. I was shaking so bad. And I was so glad I was so fucking loud. Then he sat outside of my apartment building door for god knows how long. So I couldn’t go in. I had to go around the back and wait for a car to come and open the parking garage door so I could get in that way.


Edit 4 basically reveals this guys intention he s using very incel language


Didn't catch edit 4, but OP kinda seemed like somebody who wants to take everything personally. Kinda figured a measured response might be a waste of time.


"running away from someone who you don't know can actually affect them" I feel more for the ones that didn't run and got attacked to be honest ​ ​ On that note, I walk around a *lot* at night and pass by many people who generally look terrified But when I'm singing along to my tunes at midnight I'm not surprised. Kind of funny to think though Surely if someone has criminal intent, the last thing they'd do is walk 5 miles around their town... Singing.


While I love the enthusiasm; I’d be a bit worried you’d lost your marbles, or maybe had some interesting drugs? 😂 Plus if you were a bad singer I’d definitely be running away!


I've had some very odd reactions to singing in public. People in trains sitting in groups at my feet, holding doors open between carriages to listen or just a girl flirting with me about how I sound like someone she likes.. to old dudes joining in, or clapping at me in the street.. to an old couple recently arguing about whether or not I'd be good enough for X-factor.. I think on balance it's a positive sign. x3 ​ but yea wandering around lately in a pastel goth hoodie I probably look like I have something in my pocket. x3


That’s nice!! I’m a god awful singer but if there’s music on in public I might have a little silly dance with my partner! You don’t see many other people do that kind of stuff, mostly because they’re embarrassed of scared of judgement. As long as you’re not offended if someone did leave your area; some people just prefer a little more silence!


Hah no, I'd never take offence. I know there are plenty of people who got famous and I still hate their voice, so I couldn't hold everyone to the same reactions a few have given :D And to the folk who gets snotty I tend to just suggest they try growing a pair and try it themselves c:


I met a 94 year old man in my old Monday morning yoga class, I lived in an apartment above the studio, my PT thought yoga could help with my shoulder and also anxiety (yes and yes, plus it's fun, the teachers were in real medicine, physio, no chiro shit, and there was one trained DBT therapist!) and I'd hear him in his car singing and walking down the "alley" from the parking lot to the front of the building, even if I had the AC on. It was so nice! The Legion on my block practicing bagpipes and marching on occasional Saturday mornings wasn't as nice. If I walked down the street singing, I'd get shot, as hunting season is starting and I sound like a dying goose.


I’ve had this happen too. I was told that if I know that a women is uncomfortable/sees me as a threat, one of the best things I can do is fake call my mom. It’s harder to be afraid of someone when they’re saying “I love you” to their mom.


Plot twist you call your dominatrix mommy.


Best comment.


If you don’t have a good relationship with your mom, is it cool to call your grandma or aunt instead?


I mean I’m not gonna tell you to not call your grandma


It’s not personal dude. It’s their lens on the world.


Woof. Edit #3 shows what he really thinks.


As soon as I read that part I was like "aaaaand there it is." Nothing more to say after that. This obvious child has some growing up to do.


Or you know, you could stop scaring the shit out of women


yup. as expected


Yeah makes him seem like he actually is a creep.


The way he was talking about people walking slow I thought maybe he is the type that just walks quickly and can come off like he's walking aggressively towards someone. But then I read his edits and this dude probably emits a pretty bad vibe.


Yeah he said he's not focusing on anyone while the post is about focusing on scared women.


I thought it was the fact that people are so often creeped out by him. Guys who aren’t creepy may have this happen on occasion, but it takes one creepy fuck for this to be a constant issue.


I commented after the 1st edit… 🙄🤷🏽


It’s their lens on the world enforced by other men that have put women into situations where we should fear them


You got me in the first half, not gonna lie. Then you started with the "fat, ugly feminists" thing and all came full circle. You don't respect women. There are two possibilities, then: 1) You ARE a creep (you just don't realize it). 2) A lot of women in your area have traumas with people that act like you (a creep) so they don't trust you.


Sabina Nessa, a 28 year old teacher, was murdered this week while on a 5 minute walk between locations. So sorry your feelings are hurt, but we’re slightly more concerned about being killed. And killers don’t tend to walk around holding up placards announcing their intent so it can be slightly difficult to identify them. But you know, it must be really upsetting when someone walks away from you.


Hey, at least her killer didn't get his feelings hurt.


Your edits showed your actual self and beliefs. You're simply a shitty human being with zero understanding of how it feels to sense danger every time you're walking alone, mostly at night time. Try to consider their position you moron and simply be considerate.


Stop taking things so personally, the world doesn’t revolve around your feelings. No one is obligated to make YOU feel comfortable before their sense of safety.


It’s definitely not personal. These days we are learning to fuck politeness and GTFO if you don’t feel safe. Downvote me if you want, but you can’t get offended on hang on to how people behave out on the street. Recently I was in Iceland and I def don’t look Icelandic, so some COUPLES looked at ME (female, white looking South American 5’7 and 135 pounds.I don’t think I look menacing), but they acted like I might rob them or smt. Annoying ? Sure, racist ? Maybe. but overall unimportant. If they wanted to walk faster it was their problem. I was gonna enjoy my walk. In middle school I was was walking home one day, and a dude (older than 40 for sure, and a lot bigger than me) was walking behind me. I looked at him, felt the need to run for some reason, but I thought it might be rude, so I didn’t. Sure enough the dude was waiting long enough for no one to be able to see and grabbed me from behind. I can’t tell you how fucking scared I was and I have not trusted ANYONE walking on the street since. Now, if you walk in the same neighborhood every day and the people there are used to seeing you and they STILL run away, there might be rumors going around that you are actually a creep. So I guess look out for the toxic asshole spreading lies? I cross the street, I look over my shoulder, I am on high alert the whole time. Not trying to be rude but also not getting grabbed by a stranger is pretty important to me. So yeah people on the street can fuck off. They are looking out for their safety albeit in a weird way, just keep on vibin’ and enjoy your walk.


Edit 4 just reveals this guys true intentions he can't seem to understand that women have to see every man as a potential rapist because they can be one


Honestly mine and many other female AND male comments are not saying men’s feelings are invalid BUT if he thinks his feelings are more important for women to have in mind than their own safety, he is essentially saying he thinks women’s feelings are invalid lmao. I’m just saying, let people walk however they want/feel safest on the street. If you are afraid of dogs and you see a big ass dog on the street walking up to you and you don’t know whether it’s friendly or not, are you gonna risk it and just walk by bc otherwise you might hurt the owner’s feelings ? Fuck no. Look out for yourself, cross the damn street. I don’t think everyone is bad but I still lock my door at night. I still lock up my car when I park it. You just can’t live your life afraid you might offend other people by following basic safety precautions. This goes for men too. There’s some creepy ladies out there. So if you feel the need to fuck off, do it. We can be rapists and murderers too.


OP is a waste of skin but fuckin hell, reading "women have to see every man as a potential rapist" made me wanna crawl under a rock and die. I can't even argue because a person's gotta do whatever it is that keeps them safe but damn... Just sucks that half of the population always wants the other half dead just because of our worst examples. On a subjective level though I really feel that saying "every man in the world is your potential rapist" feels like it goes hand in hand with that horseshit logic of saying "Every woman in the world only wants consensual sex to cheat on you with your best friend and sue you for everything you own" And people that say either are in a bad place filled with bad people.


only people I don’t know! (Can’t really speak for other girls necessarily) All my life I’ve had mostly male friends and they are all amazing people. I don’t see them as potential rapists at all. I started going out with my boyfriend while I was inexperienced in the area, and went to his house after getting to know him for a couple of weeks. He waited til I was ready and never asked me to do anything I didn’t feel comfortable with doing. Again, after a couple of dates I thought I knew his character pretty well and it worked out. In high school I was an anime nerd and my friend group consisted of men who are not “”””appealing”””” to (most) women. Yet not one of them ever creeped on me or anyone else. It’s only while I don’t know your character that I am wary. If you have female friends and you are not pushing yourself onto them, chances are they don’t see you as a potential rapist. Otherwise they wouldn’t be your friends. Again, don’t live your life TOO worried about what people think of you on the street. I know many men think women are out to get their money and are basically man eaters, and there’s MANY women like that out there. Not a completely unfounded generalization. I do hate “gender wars” and I think they are bullshit. We are just…. Wary. Some women act totally ridiculous and out of order and some men do too. Everyone has the potential to be shitty. No matter what gender. Sorry for long response!


Woooah there! You’re saying that “half the population wants men dead because of the worst example of men” but it’s nooot like that at all. A teeny minority of women probably do think that about men, but let’s be honest a not quiet minority (hopefully) of men want women dead too, and sometimes they actually go out and kill. Gender wars isn’t really a thing either to most people; the hateful minority of each gender can fight it out together but the majority of men and women just want to live safely and respectfully. Women having to take evasive manoeuvres isn’t gender wars, it’s a sad reality that 90% of all genders doesn’t want to be necessary






That woods story could have gone so friggin wrong in so many ways. Glad the dude didn’t want to take things further! It sucks that so many women have similar experiences since such a young age and that SOME men don’t understand this isn’t about being a mean, snotty bitch out to hurt insecure people’s feelings. For OP it’s hurt feelings, but for us it’s literally self-preservation. It sounds exaggerated but it’s not.


Must be nice to only have to focus on where you’re going and your music, not the people around you.


what a charmed life and he is whining like a victim here. i can’t even leave my house at night alone let alone playing music because there are bad people out there and especially bad things happen to women out at night. i’ll start playing this tiny violin now.


> I'm going to be called an incel for some shit reasons. > do some of you seriously think that anyone would want to follow a fat, ugly feminist? Actually, this is why you’re getting called an incel, lmao. You remind me of the black guy who came on here ranting that a white person crossed the street when they saw him. Like who cares? There’s a lot of reasons people avoid strangers while walking alone. People are allowed to walk on whatever side of the street they want, and you should stop taking everything as a personal insult.


Another reminder that men literally cannot begin to fathom how we are treated by them. I wish I could be so blissfully ignorant. Get OVER IT. Put your feelings and ego aside on this one. We get followed all the fucking time. I don't care who gets offended when I clearly think they're following me. Those men's feelings mean quite literally nothing compared to my need to feel safe. Get over yourself. Thanks.


Lol your edits show what a scum piece of shit you are.


When women look at me weird in public I just say really loud 'Ma'am please stop looking at me youre making me uncomfortable' LOL




Wow that's actually a really good response


see this is actually a good way to handle it bc she’ll either find it a bit funny and laugh at herself or feel a bit guilty for judging you quick. i’ll be the first to admit tho, i always just walk faster when it’s any man lol better safe than sorry when you’ve had multiple bad experiences.


Incel behavior. Deal with it. The way people perceive you is not there fault. I’m 100% sure you look and act like a creep in real life and that’s why you make women uncomfortable.


I find it very hard to believe this happens so frequently and so obviously to you that you feel the need to complain about it. Getting a very strong 'not all men' vibe.


No, I won't show you empathy lmao. I do not give a shit if you feel bad. If I get a HINT that you might be creepy, I'm running. Kindness and giving men benefit of the doubt has literally killed women. I'm not risking it in case the man who claims all women run from him at night is actually a nice guy. Also, if so many women got scared of you, you ARE creepy.


Exactly! This post is such an example of a dude being self centred around real issues and making the problem about him when in comparison to what's really going on, it's minuscule


It is a weird spot to be in as a guy. I've had it happen to me. It sucks KNOWING that you're scaring someone. I don't kill spiders I sure as hell would never hurt a person. The girl half my size walking 20 ft in front of me through a dark parking lot doesn't know that though. But I'm not mad at women for it lol it's just a shitty part of existence 🤷‍♂️ no one's fault


EXACTLY. And I KNOW that you're probably going to feel iffy when I run off. But I also know if you are not someone I need to be afraid off, you'll understand.


it also sucks knowing that the man behind you might not be a creep and his feelings might get hurt when you take precautions. Women don't *want* to have to be put in that situation.


i would even say it killed men too, why even trust randoms on the street?




Yes! This is the comment I was looking for. His edits even say so. He's abit wierd.


You should read the Gift of Fear.


Ps your edits are fucking hilarious. Yes, we are telling you to get over it.


The first time I was stalked, I shook it off and moved on. By the next stalking, I had been sexually assaulted several times, so now I was worried. I was right to be worried, as that man had no good intentions. After that came more sexual assaults including more than one rape. I no longer let any man come within grabbing distance of me, and **fuck you** if that hurts your feelings. I’m not going through any of that again just to make *you* feel less hurt. Make the world be one where I can walk down the street without getting catcalled, propositioned, grabbed, yelled at, groped, dry-humped, called a bitch, or just plain old raped, and I’ll be the first to stay on the same side of the street as you. Till then? Stay the fuck away, because I don’t know who you are, and bitter experience has told me “men” will take whatever they think they can get away with. Think of it as a courtesy repayment for the insane amount of damage all those dicks have ever done to women just trying to walk down the god-damned street, ffs.


Incel creep is having a mad about the fact he’s a fucking creep. Fix yourself instead of bitching about others avoiding your creepy ass.


Why are so offended that women are protecting themselves? Do you not realize that through their lens of life, they have more than enough LOGICAL reason to be on guard when they are walking alone at night? Do I need to pull up the countless amounts of evidence of women getting stalked, raped, assaulted, etc for walking alone? Hell, even MEN should be on guard when walking alone at night and it’s not unnatural in the slightest. You really shouldn’t be taking this personally, bro. > I’m not going to bother with these comments anymore. It’s just women saying that men’s feelings are invalid. Your whole post and edits are you saying that women’s sense of safety is invalid because YOU are choosing to take it personally. > Why do some of you seriously think that anyone would want to follow a fat, ugly feminist? This leads me to make the conclusion that you’re strong feelings on this topic stem from some other wildly insensitive mindset you possess. Why is every woman who’s just trying to be alert suddenly a fat, ugly feminist? Grow up a little, yeah? > Start treating men with the respect that they deserve. *Jesus*, why does some random stranger owe you respect just because of your gender? That’s fucking weird. If she’s not calling the cops on you or just trying to get away from you as fast as she can then maybe she *is* respecting you in some way.


stopped reading at " fat, ugly feminist? " But more broadly, yeah fucking deal with it. Its far worse having to deal with the danger of possible rapists than dealing with women being understandably wary of men walking near them alone at night.


It is a learned reaction unfortunately, nothing personal to you. Don't get angry at the women, get angry at the men before you who taught us as a society women are not safe to walk alone at night. I was 14 walking home from ballet class, only 5 mins walk, but multiple times men pulled up in cars, either riding alongside or cutting me off at a crossing and asking questions about where i live etc. I get not all men are like that and worryingly as i have grown up this has not happened as many times as it used to regularly, they target small girls. I still get scared walking at night with anyone nearby


I agree with a lot of the arguments here. You shouldn’t waste your valuable time walking across the street (and also assume the increased risk of crossing a street at night) every time your gait exceeds that of a woman in front of you. That said, I don’t believe one should feel annoyed when the woman proceeds to engage in some defense mechanism. We all have different thresholds for fear that fuels us to enact self preservation tactics - mine is walking through bear country or biking around in the south side (where there is excessive amounts of gang activity strong arm robbery->armed robbery-homicide). If anything, I would just feel sadness that this particular woman’s threshold for fear is so low that she feels the need to run from me and my asthmatic pug. Be happy that you have both a higher tolerance for fear than others and a confidence in your ability to preserve your own life (if need be).


I try not to notice but I have almost busted a Karen in the mouth when she tried to pull my daughter away from me.




Only reason I didn't was my wife ran up and told her to F off or she's calling the cops.


I cringe when I see stories of strange women walking up to other women in public to “rescue” her from a guy at the bar. Like why are they less of a threat? A group of girls could jump you just as easily as one man could. Why trust them?


Hahaha I've had this happen to my wife and I sometimes play like we've never met. Had a lil 20 something gal tell me to take a hint and leave my wife alone. Super awkward to explain that we've been married 13 years.


A man did this to me once, I was just trying to have a conversation with a woman I met and he came over and started telling her to leave and saying "take the hint, she doesn't wanna talk to you" but in reality I was looking for an excuse to avoid his creepy ass. It was the most awkward thing


People who have interacted with other humans on a regular basis know that women deal with abusive/rapey guys far, far more often than they get jumped or otherwise abused by random groups of women.


Start treating you with the respect you 'deserve'? You clearly don't deserve shit. If every woman you come across on your 'walks' does this then you're the problem. Why are you close enough to see what they're doing on their phone or to hear the sound through your music? Also, Edit #3 show that you are, in fact, a misogynist and incel. This world wasn't made to cater to you and your needs. You complain about mild inconveniences like this while women get raped and killed for walking home. Do better.


I suggest therapy to help with your sensitivity. Others have the right to keep themselves safe. They don't lose that right just because you for some reason interpret it as a personal attack on your feelings. Do you also feel psychological distress if your neighbors lock their doors? Honestly the only solution here is for you to admit that you would benefit from seeking help. You seem to have a lot of anger and sensitivity and a fragile mental state, and you are projecting this onto strangers who are keeping themselves safe. You are not entitled to have strangers place themselves at risk just so you can feel trusted. This is an irrational and ridiculous thing to expect. You just need to be an adult like the rest of us and either try to cope on your own or talk to a therapist.


> do you also feel psychological distress if your neighbours lock their doors? Excellent point. Op seems to forget they aren't the only man in the world and that rapists/murderers (and burglars) *also* exist. I think of it like a box of chocolates. If they all contain delicious toffee except for one which contains shit then I'm avoiding the whole box. I'm not risking eating shit just to spare someone's feelings. And I'm sure as hell not assuming all men at night are safe when there are much, much more serious consequences if I do so with the wrong one, however rare or unlikely. Op why don't you go tell the family of Sabina Nessa or Sarah Everard, or any of the 103 women *per* *day* sexually assaulted across England and Wales that there's nothing to fear? Tell them that they and their sisters and daughters and mothers have no need to be wary of men when walking alone in the dark because showing fear might be insulting or hurtful. If he could give even *one* convincing argument as to why his hurt feelings over being feared at night are more valid than women's fears of being raped and murdered then we might listen. But he hasn't because he can't. Op we don't know you're the exception, or the next guy. And we also don't know that the one after that is dangerous. What do you honestly expect us to do when the stakes are so high?


Wonen have been made scared for years, this is the result


I’m not really sure what you have to deal with, dude… yeah it sucks to have women run away from you when you don’t have any bad intentions. My male friends have expressed to me before how sad it makes them when they’re presumed to be creeps who are following women home. But they’re not sad for themselves - they’re sad at the state of a society that means women feel threatened by every man they see on the street. You know what sucks more than women thinking you’re following them home? Being followed home. Suck it up, my guy.


Good god- this. I understand how it must feel when you have no ill intent, but put yourself in literally any other woman's shoes... we are taught from day 1 to watch out for ourselves by any means because, historically, women get taken advantage of ALL THE TIME in situations like that. We have no indication as to which man wants to get home quickly vs the one who wants to wear me as a skin suit later.


A constant and disappointing trend is how a lot of men will make things like women being raped/stalked/harassed about themselves. “Women assume I’m creepy/weird when I haven’t even done anything!” That SUCKS and I really try my best to be understanding of how they feel, but what I wouldn’t give for that to be my concern, instead of ending up the next Sarah Everard.


I'd have more empathy if there were thousands of years of male oppression, violence, and overall abuse documented in the history books... but that was, and is, generally saved for the women.


Can’t upvote that enough.


The irony of this situation is that if op has a daughter he’ll make her do the exact same things in the name of self defence.


no, he’ll convince her otherwise and that’s how his daughter will run into trouble.


Why are you mad at women for being scared and not the men who made them that way? If we hadn’t all had to deal with men’s bullshit we might be a little more trusting, also your 3rd edit makes it pretty fucking clear they should be wary of you anyway, you sound like an incel


how the fuck are they supposed to know you’re not following them or that you’re not dangerous? The reason women are cautious when they’re out is because so many women get harassed, kidnapped, raped, etc. Get your head out of your ass ffs, you’re not the victim




Oh poor you. Cry me a river.


Poor petal. You fee annoyed? That must really suck. Good thing you don’t have to be scared walking home at night, that you don’t put your keys between your fingers in case someone attacks you, that you don’t wear headphones, that you take a longer route home because it’s more well lit, that you share your live location at all times with friends or family, that you text your friends that you’re home safe. I’ll think of you next time I have to hide in a shop because I think someone’s following me, you’ve really helped me feel empathy for the man who followed me from the bus stop home.


You heard it women. We need to chance being raped and/or murdered so we don't harm OP's sensitive fucking ego.




You sound paranoid and should seek therapy


I agree completely. the fact that I happen to be going in the same direction as you dosent mean I'm interested in anything you have going on


Well what do you expect when they're constantly told that men are predators and only exist to rape you?


Don't worry, it's just part of a package of stupid lies they've been trained to believe about men. Just goes to show they are the weaker sex.


SING IT, BROTHER! As for the rest of the misandrists and self hating men who think this is normal, wait until the woke police turns on you for being some sort of non-woke protected group..


Bro chill out. I'm a pretty big guy and just like a week or two ago I was walking on campus and a girl looked behind at me several times, then pasued to let me walk ahead of her on one of the paths. It's really easy to not take it personally man. It has pretty much nothing to do with you, it's entirely that person trying to keep themself safe. Substitute any other guy in your spot and you'd probably just get the same reaction. Just let it go and move on with your day.


Ever thought you may legitimately be creepy? There are women, for example, who have "resting bitch face." Most of them who have said face also know it, and it's generally a funny discussion topic with them. You may have "resting creeper / rapey face" or give off horrible vibes. They don't know you're feminist. Ugliness can be rapey. Ugly man --> maybe no game --> needs to force to get what he wants. Incel rants scare women dude. Just FYI.


I’m a guy This happens to me a lot It sucks But guess what sucks more? Getting killed and raped Hell I have done this when a guy behind me seems shady It sucks man, but this is the reality we live in, women cannot know who is good and who is bad, better safe than sorry


You must have some serious creeper vibes and quite possibly unattractive as well. Bad combo. Suck it up buttercup no one cares about your fweelings.


Lol this reminds me of a story I head about a guy who used to go to the gym. He would go to this small commercial gym in a small town, so people saw each other quite often there. There was always a group of 3 girls that seemed to think they were top shit. This guy would always see them giving him dirty looks and stuff until one day they confronted him and accused him of being a creep and staring at them all the time (when according to him, he never did). He looked at them and said "Don't flatter yourselves, ladies. I like dick" and walked off. I thought that was so fucking funny lmaaaaoo


If you are doing nothing wrong, then you should not feel any emotion other then empathy. Continue doing nothing wrong and mind your own business. Right now I am with my partner, at an airport, and I am still looking around being aware of my surroundings. It is not that I think every man is out to harm me but I like to know who is around me in case.


You can deal with a minor annoyance so someone else feels safe. Too many of us have been followed and harassed. Just keep doing your own shit it literally doesn't affect you.


>Just keep doing your own shit it literally doesn't affect you. But it does. It doesn't feel good having women sprinting away from me or taking phone calls because of my presence.


You are telling me that women literally break out into a sprint when they see you? I understand being bothered by that since it's so odd, but when walking alone, it helps women feel safe to be on the phone with someone. Thata all it is. My fiance would always call me when walking home from work. Unfortunately women have to be wary of a small minority of predatory men, and it is absolutely wrong to shame them for being worried about that.


Then you can take time to practice human empathy and understand your presence as a stranger in someone else's life. What they do to keep themselves safe is not your concern and don't make it their problem. Understand the actual problem




Why the fuck did you make this about genitals.


Because the person in front of OP is only “Afraid” because OP has a dick. Would she be acting like this if OP was a fellow member of her perpetual victim complex cult called feminism? Oh no wait. Feminists will literally walk off with other females they don’t even know to “save themselves” from men they perceive as a threat. Nevermind there’s PLENTY of stories of women being the lure for another’s kidnapping. But oh no 🙈 the penis is so bad must run before I am victim!!!!!!


1) I avoid creepy looking women too 2) If a woman attacks me, I have a chance to fight her off. If a man attacks me, I'm fucked. 3) You're literally playing the victim right now because women try to maintain distance from you at night. Funny how mostly all of the evil feminism you perceive is women simply not wanting to be near you.


I’m a biological female who doesn’t see myself a perpetual victim of the scary penis because I have been tortured my way more women in my life than I ever have men. Guess what? I’m still not sexist towards men OR women because I’m not a misandrist or a misogynist. It’s almost like I don’t buy into feminist cult bullshit.


You're a moron.


I know I’m not sexist I’m such an idiot. Poor me :(


How is avoiding risky situations sexist?


Because not all males are monsters and neither are all women. So to be fearful of ALL men or ALL women because of a percentage IS sexist. I’m sorry you need that explained to you. Biological sex doesn’t make someone a monster. Your brain chemistry does.


That poster you’re responding to is a women. You gonna call her a pick me?


I'm going to call her an idiot.


If you are only focused on where you are going and what you are doing how are you so sure they are running from you, playing a tiktok for you or anything else in reference to you? When I mind my own business I don’t take other people’s actions personally. If I sit down on a bench and the person sitting on the other end immediately gets up, I don’t assume it’s because of me. I either don’t think anything of it or I assume me being there had no impact on their decision to leave. An additional thought, maybe instead of getting upset that so many women feel the need to go into protective mode when a guy is around society should focus on stopping so many men from being creeps. Then women wouldn’t be afraid and you wouldn’t get upset that they are.


OP, not to pull the race card, but black people deal with this 10x as much. This type of shit adds up and can make almost anyone jaded. You simply should avoid them before they can avoid you lol.


So they are doing nothing to inconvenience you, just things to keep themselves safe if you happen to be a creep ot stalker? Like they are quite literally just existing, and treating you like they do every man who happens to wind up walking behind them on their way home? Just...deal with it? It's nothing personal. You aren't being singled out. You're being treated the exact same as any other guy would be. Why on earth would you get an exemption from their standard protocol?




They don't know you so no. Most of us have had bad experiences not being on high alert around random men. I don't ask men to cross the streets for me or anything like that but stop whining about us taking our own precautions that don't involve you doing anything.


What in the misogyny did I just read


You just outed yourself as the *actual* type of guy women should be running away from. Hoisted by your own petard.


Gee I wonder why women feel uncomfortable around you. Creep


Yikes. Your lack of empathy is disappointing. Imagine being a woman and being terrified you may be abducted/attacked at any moment in the street. I believe we are all taught to be extra cautious of men following us, so much so that we are all afraid. As a man you should feel lucky that your conditioning growing up doesn't include "how to be safe walking in your own neighborhood".


Must be nice to not have to be constantly aware of your surroundings, regardless of how nice the area.




No, just no. No one is obligated to inconvenience themselves because of your delusional paranoia. This mentality is unbelievably toxic


right, I disagree with the commenter you’re replying to — there’s no need for OP to alter his behavior. but if I’m walking alone at night, I absolutely try and be on a phone call with someone (real or fake) and take other precautions to avoid being caught alone by a man who may wish me harm. the same reason I take multiple self-defense classes at the range every year. I have never, ever needed these precautions, and I’m grateful for that. but better to have and not need than need and not have. as for the comparisons to race made upthread, what should be emphasized is that unlike race, the *vast* majority of women are at a biological strength and speed disadvantage compared to men. if a man does decide to wish me harm, I am more at risk from him because he is most likely significantly bigger, stronger, and faster than I am. that is not the case with someone who is also a woman, but of a different race. moreover, I also think it would be prudent for more men to take precautions when out by themselves at night, a topic woefully under covered by self-defense organizations and media outlets. men are often assaulted at night as well (usually physical rather than sexual) and in the Boston area there is a strong preponderance of evidence for the presence of a serial killer targeting young men. I think these things should be more commonly used and discussed, and any offense that might occur is secondary to the safety and well being of everyone, regardless of gender — but also that the burden of safety does not fall on anyone perceived to be threatening.


No what's toxic is your lack of empathy - "I won't do even the slightest thing to make women feel safer." There's nothing delusional about women's fear of becoming a victim, ask the women in your life. They'll all have stories of creeps making them feel uncomfortable, being hit on in completely inappropriate places, being catcalled, being followed, being abused by guys when they turn down advances etc.


I’ve been abused by women in my life and I am a woman so what’s your logic to that? Just admit you’re a misandrist and move on


I take steps to stop making women feel frightened and you think that makes me a misandrist? You're delusional.


You being delusional and considering all men the enemy because a percentage of men are monsters makes you Misandrist. Having a penis doesn’t make someone a monster. It’s their fucking brain chemistry that makes them fucked up. It’s why there are abusive women. It’s why there are women who are murderers and why there are women who lure girls into sex trafficking. So you are a misandrist. You are sexist. You’re assuming all men are evil because they are males. You are projecting your delusional and irrational fear. If I were to be delusional I would look at every grown adult black woman as an enemy and would cower in fear from them simply for being an adult black woman because by your logic that’s what I should do. I HAVE been attacked by an adult black woman. So they must all be bad right?


How's about you cross the street, then? I'm not about to inconvenience myself because of your paranoia. You don't own the sidewalk.


You're putting a ten second inconvenience over a woman's ability to walk down the street without fearing violent assault. Interesting priorities.


Prioritize your own paranoia. It ain't got shit to do with me. I'm walking up the street blasting some fire ass music through my earbuds, minding my own damn business, not even THINKING about you, and I'm supposed to inconvenience myself to accommodate you being paranoid of me, literally for existing in the same space as you? Puff, puff pass, cause I need some of that shit. And yeah, these 2 things are COMPLETELY unrelated, but as a black man, you got me fucked up thinking I'm about to cross the street for anyone when I haven't done shit lol




By this logic every middle aged black woman is a threat to me because my middle aged black mother tried to kill me twice. Should I attack them as soon as I approach to prevent myself from becoming a victim to them?


> **Cross. The. Fucking. Street.** No, we don't have to anything to make a random woman feel safe. She can do so herself. I am not doing anything bad. > Just ask Sarah Everard or Sabina Nessa. Oh wait, you can't, they're both dead, murdered by men they randomly encountered. And the world keeps spinning. Nobody but their friends and families remember them. But we still continue living.


You're acting like it's my fault. I have shown empathy towards those that have had trauma or bad experiences in my post.




You're literally telling him that he's the problem, he's said that he has no way of communicating he isn't a creep, and he's feeling dehumanised because he's being treated like one when he just wants to walk down a fucking street, have you considered being nice and try to make him feel better? It's a rare thing for people to do but it's nice to see


“ You (and I for that matter) might be one of the vast majority of men who wouldn't dream of hurting a woman, but there's no way she can know that.” She’ll know that when you walk right by her without hurting her.


Every woman I know has had a bad experience, every single one! Have you ever asked the women in your life how many have had men follow them, not take no for an answer the first time, been touched or groped in public, etc?




>I really don't know where to post this but it's really pissing me off and I also feel like I'm going to be called an incel for some shit reasons. Ah, the irony of following up 'get called an incel for some shit reason' with... >Edit 3: Some of these people in the comments can go fuck themselves. Why do some of you seriously think that anyone would want to follow a fat, ugly feminist? You seriously expect people listen to your views when you sit there and act like every man walking on Earth is some rapist, murderer? Start treating men with the respect that they deserve. This incel bullshit. You don't deserve respect for existing with a dick, dude. You earn respect by doing things like **respecting** other people's boundaries or going above the norm.


I don't think they're going to stop.


Well this is some of the most pathetic shit I've read today. Must be a sign to get off the internet and get some fresh air.


I'll bet he's a " nice guy"


Hey man, I was with you until this > Start treating men with the respect that they deserve Men are pretty disgusting. Some women are too for that matter. It's tough to put them all in the same box, but the overall view of 'men are pigs' isn't that far off... Men probably shouldn't recieve respect until it's been earned, which is impossible when dealing with strangers. That being said, I'm sure it's not a pleasant feeling getting side-eyed all the time. Don't really have any advice, just keep on living your life and try not to let randoms affect your way of living!


Life much truly suck for you *plays world’s smallest violin*


You sound mad and also beta


You’re very sensitive and thin-skinned.


You wishing people to validate your hurt fee fees over women literally defending themselves is proof you have no empathy at all and are indeed, an entitled incel creep. Fuck you for existing.


I once got followed and I remember the thoughts racing through my head and wondering if I was even going to return home. You don’t seem to understand or want to. I can understand being upset about people feeling uncomfortable but it’s nothing against you personally, I’m sure people would be stressed out if they’re being followed no matter the gender


The problem is much bigger than your hurt feelings. The problem is, that these women may be fearing for their life, dude.


Feminism has taught women to constantly see themselves as a victim.


Honestly i think it’s just the current woke wrapped version of pop feminism


Current feminism is just like modern democracy. There’s many sides. They all claim to be for the greater good but in reality they are all toxic in one way or another. Whether it be they are overly misandrist or so sex positive they completely ignore the millions and millions currently in sexual slavery.


How are we supposed to know you're not one. You're just getting uncomfortable over her playing an audio. And she's scared for her life. I wish people came with a trailer but that's not the case so it's better for them to be on their guard rather than to please your ego


Don't take impersonal defense mechanisms personally.


Oh no, I am so annoyed and uncomfortable. You funking bitch, women literally live in fear of being attacked


>women literally live in fear of being attacked Everyone does. Funny you should say that too, seeing as men get assaulted more...


Thank you social media for conditioning women into believing all men are out to rape them.


Hate to inform you it was the amount of mean who have harassed and assaulted me who convinced me of that. You know. Like most of us who suffer with this fear.


"I went to St Louis and got robbed by a group of black guys...now I hate black people" Same argument.


No it's not but great job managing to be racist in a problem literally not about race!


Ah yes, speaking of racism make you a racist. It makes total sense. Can't argue with that logic


Yeah it is. You're stating that you've been victimized by men, now you feel uncomfortable around all men. This the exact same argument racists use to describe how they're uncomfortable around black people. If you're too dense to make the connection, I think we're done here


I discussed this downthread, but I don’t think this comparison is actually 1:1. what should be emphasized here is that, unlike race, the *vast* majority of women are at a biological strength and speed disadvantage compared to men. if a man does decide to wish me harm, I am more at risk from him because he is most likely significantly bigger, stronger, and faster than I am. that is not the case with someone who is also a woman, but of a different race. moreover, I also think it would be prudent for more men to take precautions when out by themselves at night, a topic woefully under covered by self-defense organizations and media outlets. men are often assaulted at night as well (usually physical rather than sexual) and in the Boston area there is a strong preponderance of evidence for the presence of a serial killer targeting young men. I think these things should be more commonly used and discussed, and any offense that might occur is secondary to the safety and well being of everyone, regardless of gender — but also that the burden of safety does not fall on anyone perceived to be threatening.


Basic personal safety measures should be exercised in urban areas at night, period. Concealed carry where you can, never travel alone, never travel in dark or dimly lit areas. Start from a situation of safety and never introduce yourself to environments that could endanger you in the first place.


those are all the *best* possible practices, but unfortunately are not always feasible (particularly going places by yourself, when dark — in the winter months, that would affect a normal commute, and in the summer/spring/fall, shift or restaurant work). therefore, taking the next best precautionary step within reason (including a phone call, real or fake) is fine. jogging away from someone is fine. crossing the street yourself is fine. expecting someone to cross the street is not.


Good, factual post. Agreed.


Ah yes justifying racism cause of possibly 1 bad experience is the same as women. Avoiding men because of systemic and historic abuse. We are clearly done here because this is a stupid fucking statement you've made


Believe it or not, more redditors than you think would find this acceptable but if you have multiple negative experiences with women than it’s your fault. Have multiple negative experiences with any demographic outside of white women? It’s their fault


Same thing that I think whenever it happens.


Really beautiful how the misogyny just gets stronger and stronger


Sorry but all men do not deserve my respect. I genuinely do get followed home often. It is incredibly scary for a young woman. So honestly fuck you for acting like your so entitled to women just assuming youre a safe person. News flash bud! They dont know you!!!! Get over yourself wtf


Not sure if this was the right place to post this, my guy. We're men. We're supposed to just suck it up and deal with being afraid of, literally just for being men.


Youre an idiot. Women dont like /any/ strange men at night, because /any/ strange man could be a murderer, rapist etc. We cant read minds bro, we just have to have a rule for everyone. Why does it bother you so much if youre innocent? it isnt personal. Thats like saying people should approach every dog in the street because at least some are friendly. Herp derp.


You a incel jabroni, mate.


You might be annoyed. But these women are terrified. Get over it. You should be feeling sad they have to do that, not pissed


It happens, sucks? Yup I walk by wave say hi and have a good day and have a good day as the clutch thier purses or hold a can of mase wide eyed. Honestly I feel sorry for them no idea why they are so scared


It seems that women should be scared of you and probably have a gut instinct about you with how you’re acting. You’re showing aggression and an oddly strong reaction to something that shouldn’t bother you all that much. You know what’s bothersome is being 16 years old and having a man in their 40’s waiting for you outside of your place of work at 9pm to see if you wanted to “hang out.” Being in your early 20’s and pumping gas in broad daylight with multiple other people around and an older large man starts yelling profanities at you from the other side of the gas station, you hear it and feel odd about it, stop pumping gas prematurely to get in car, older man then proceeds to move his car closer to yours GETS OUT, starts tapping at your car window and moving the locked door handle while still yelling horrible things as you drive away. So I’m sorry if your feelings are hurt, but some of us (actually many, many women) are genuinely scared and have experiences that have made them this way. So true off my chest, I’m scared of men I don’t know especially when I’m alone and vulnerable because other men I don’t know have scared the living shit out of me multiple times.


Bro you are asking this on an ultra liberal forum that is Reddit. What do you expect? Of course you'll get innudated with msgs from feminists and SJWs lmao. And I feel for you by the way unfurtunately theres no easy way out of this one.


That’s cringe. Some people are idiots man and I’m sorry. And don’t have empathy for these morons. They have probably listened to the narrative and believe it that every man thinks wants to assault and rape them. Which isn’t your problem.


what if they are actual victims that have been traumatized and run from every man?


You shouldn’t have to “deal with it” and they shouldn’t have to feel afraid. It’s traumatizing for everyone. Unfortunately that’s the world we live in. We’re probably not going to get to a point of community comfort in our lifetimes in most places. If you don’t want to deal with it your best bet is to move to a city with better pedestrian accommodations and a lower likelihood of people assaulting each other. You might have to move pretty far…


Loooool so all the woman who thinks you follow them is a fat ugly feminist?? Tell me about it you poor little thing


I feel for you bro. But unfortunately there isn’t much of a solution. Some of their fear is justified and the current social values simply aren’t in your favour. Society always thinks it’s fair but it’s not perfect. Only thing you can do is ignore it. Just keep in mind that those who choose to live in irrational fear will be suffering more than you.


Lol at “irrational fear”