T O P
KittiesAreTooCute

I 100% thought the kid asked him on a date and got confused.


_Cocktopus_

Same i imagined a fat man and a kid in a resteraunt lmao


ineyy

I imagined the mom scouted for a partner and got the kid to fall on purpose and set them up. Flawless.


4typical

Milfs do have game I guess


grasscoveredhouses

Manipulative Incel Loser Females


gray_mare

May I Lobotomize Femboys


grasscoveredhouses

the law requires that I answer 'no'


CenturyBlade

But is your body telling you yes


Mashizari

Mom is pimping out her kids for free pizza


rehabAbuse

This is actually plausible, any idea how much it cost to feed a kid till their 18?


Captain_Morgan-

same xD


DinoBirdsBoi

kids are so crazily impulsive that they wouldn’t even say to go on a date they’ll jump straight to marriage


AyaAishi

I can imagine the kid shifting up & asking the man if he'd marry him on the spot for giving him a mountain dew.


HVACGuy12

Kid really likes mountain dew


pursuitofmisery

Yeah, that's how these 4chan greentexts are normally supposed to go


siraweed

I expected the kids mom to be a karen and freak out at him and ruin his life and now he hates women or smth


ThievingOwl

“MY PRECIOUS BRANTLEY IS ALLERGIC TO MOUNTAIN DEW! CONSIDER YOURSELF SUED!”


Milkthiev

Lol fucking Brantley


Malvastor

Least it's not Thurman


ThievingOwl

One chance at life man


Waluigis_Bicycle

Yeah I thought the mom was gonna be mad about the Mountain Dew lol. My parents were always super super lenient, like when my dad found my weed and pipe he just hid them to fuck with me and gave them back when I asked for them and just told me to smoke in the shed which had a bench and a table. My dad was still super specific about us not having those super high caffeine drinks though for some reason.


gawrgouda

Yep. Had to read the entire thing again from the beginning


SOMEMONG

Fr


sBucks24

Was waiting for this to devolve into the town accusing him of being a pedo and his simple, well respected life is ruined. Greentext's have ruined me.


dance_rattle_shake

Same. Then I was like ok what fd up video game plot is anon paraphrasing


korzenPL

Anon can cook


_Wendigun_

Cock


BrotherBell

Cuck


Dr_Zika

Cum


leftoverrice54

Anyone can cook


bikdikme

Not any1 can "cook" , jessie


MauiWowieOwie

Yes we know Gusteau.


MadeJustToUpvoteMeme

Anyone aside from women born after 1993


_heroin_addict

All they know is mcdonalds, charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual, eat hot chip and lie


AWilfred11

No it’s anyone can cook


Alarid

So can the deadbeat dad.


JoinAThang

And anons son can wing man like his chance of a healthy father figure is depending on it.


trident_hole

29 year old pizza restaurant owner? Tf


Xilizhra

It's probably a chain and he's the manager.


Skedajikle

If she’s helping around then I doubt it. Higher ups probably wouldnt like it


musedmb715

people get fired for that shit lolol


OverdoseMaster

Jesus what kinda sorry ass place you live in I worked in a pizza restaurant and it was chill as fuck I even had my friends come a few times when cleaning up after closing to the public


musedmb715

i was thinkin corporate chain bullshit even as opposed to franchises where there are apecific rules and they get pissy about liability......i had a boss whose father-in-law was a retired marine who would come in and work for free and dude got fired because he was outside the corporation.....needless dude himself is doing better than company in the area at this point


Waluigis_Bicycle

Every food place I’ve worked has been a huge chain and the regional bosses are vicious. It scares the managers into doing exactly as they’re told.


killinrin

I guess that’s possible but every restaurant I’ve worked at the entire staff is fucking each other like a 1970s key party. It’d be lame af for that guy to get in trouble for having his girlfriend or whatever help out part time.


sdeptnoob1

Franchises are a thing though. So you do own it for like a investment of 50k or more depending. Which banks can give loans for if you got a plan and good credit. Profits are split with you and parent company. You too can own a pizza hut.


Condork_alt

Become indebted to the bank and Pizza Hut. For the low low cost of your soul


sdeptnoob1

Eh 50k isn't too bad could be paid off in 7 years or so easy. Now if its like 100k.... and if you only get a small percent of profits..... well yeah lol basicly.


vonmonologue

I had more than that in my 401k by 29 even working as a wage slave in a high COL area and starting from nothing. Someone making better choices than me could easily have $50k in the bank by 29. It’s just 10 years of roommate or staying at home living and a frugal (but not impoverished) lifestyle.


bacchic_ritual

Can't be a wage slave with a 401k. Those are two very different lifestyles.


vonmonologue

$13 an hour retail work doesn’t constitute wage slavery to you just because I have basic benefits?


bacchic_ritual

If you got by on 13 it wasn't high COL area. Then again I don't know your living situations.


Beasting-25-8

Yeah... Most franchisees get fucked.


DEVOmay97

There's only a handful of chains that you can get a franchise of for that kind of money afaik. Most are far more expensive than that.


boobiemcgoogle

I know a few people who own franchises. The trajectory is always the same: work your balls off 70 hours a week the first two years, because you can’t afford to hire anyone. After that, you’re established enough to hire and can choose your hours. If you don’t have $100k and a few years living expenses saved up, don’t bother


DEVOmay97

Honestly just don't open a franchise. Fuck having some corporate dickweasels strutting about telling you how to run your own business.


boobiemcgoogle

You’ve no clue what you’re talking about. They take a very small percent of monthly profits, provide a vendor list and requisite marketing materials. It’s a huge gain for very little loss of gross profit.


throwaway19191929

No they take a percentage of revenue. And with 5-10% markups on food, you could hit like 30-50% of profits quickly if you aren't good


Bay1Bri

It's not as easy as that. You have a 50k initial franchise fee, but then you have to study make the business which can cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. Getting a loan for an that if a great way to make sure you never get ahead. Plus some franchises not icky require the initial investment but also that you have a minimum net worth, often in the millions of dollars range.


Bobdolezholez

Yeah, that person literally has no clue what they’re talking about. I think they just made up franchise requirements in their head and then spouted off about it.


Bobdolezholez

Except most major franchises require you to have a certain net worth or available cash. You wouldn’t just be able to walk in with 50k or get a loan for that and be approved for a franchise license.


LanceFree

50 grand? Subway is a cheap one and starts around $165K. Wiener schnitzel is cheap at $200K, I think McDonalds is close to a million.


Space2Bakersfield

May well have inherited. Non chain restaurants are often family businesses and his parents may have left it to him or retired and hes the de facto owner running it.


paperpenises

It's his house and he has schizophrenia and and hallucinated everyone in this story.


Algolurker

Small town, why not? Most places the rents on a shop aren't high and if you rent / buy a place fully kitted out with a kitchen, then no sweat.


ImprovementElephant

and in small-ish towns local pizza places come and go. unless they get their core customer base or they’ve been there for years already


Luftmensch11

The most unbelievable part to me is that the shop is closing at 7.30. Isn't that peak pizza ordering time? Edit: I have now been suitably informed that in some places, pizza shops do indeed close before 8pm. The more you know.


DasGamerlein

It's not too unusual. Most pizza places around me close around 8/9 pm.


Chads_bulge

You know that places can close their direct customer services but still do orders untill a certain hour, right?


trentshipp

Actually gives the small town theory some legitimacy, my town basically closes at 8:00 and everyone goes home. They turn off the stoplight (singular) at 10:00.


Magnon

Mayor Dad: "There's no god damn way I'm paying for the stoplight to be on after 10. If you're out after 10 you're grounded. Do you people not know how expensive electricity is?"


wownotagainlmao

I worked at a pizza place in a small town back in Highschool. Our “busy” time during the week was like 5-6:30. People put in an order at work and pick it up on the way home. Iirc we closed at 8. Fridays and Saturday’s were later, ofc, and a pizza place in a city will be open later most days. Rural towns are quiet.


Degenerate-Implement

Probably a very small town in a rural area. Most of the restaurants where my wife's boyfriend's parents live close at 5pm.


walkerwalker-

Maybe a holiday or a Sunday


TokesNotHigh

It says he runs it, not that he owns it


rehtulx

My dad did restaurant consulting—plenty of restaurants where the owner is trying to get out will owner finance. In a small town, probably need to put 10-20k down and the owner will finance rest over an agreed upon period so they can retire/leave the area.


bustrpoindextr

I've seen it


coffeeandcannabis

A kid from my high school owned one at 20 or 21. He worked in one all of high school, ended up managing it by the time he graduated. Finally he realized he runs the whole places and makes someone else rich. Parents helped him financially open up his own. He was the same age as me and he already had his own place by the time I moved back from college. He owns 2 or 3 now.


WhiskeyandTequila

A lot of people I know are young and own businesses like that. They were fortunate and got a lot of help from their parents for money to help with start up and acting as guarantors for their bank loans. So they’re able to own businesses and nice homes in their 20s


darkdeath912

Not uncommon in smaller towns


ReverendVerse

I knew a guy that owned an ice cream shop in a shopping mall at 19.


DanFuckingSchneider

Dad owns several businesses in the area and “sold” the pizza place to anon if he promised to stop masturbating to loli porn.


[deleted]

29years old and owing something?


limitedguy733

Probably not american, fairly common where I live.


Deep-Difficulty-9218

Anon forgets to take his schizophrenia medication.


Astatinegfx

Redditors when they see someone actually achieved happiness in life (it has to be LIE!!!11 hahaAh tAkE yOur mEdS!11!)


admirable_tom

If they really were happy they would stop using this website. No sane person would ever use this website


Shasan23

bruh, this is greentext. Comments about shizo meds are a time honored tradition her, like "fake and gay"


_-Phage-_

they're also overdone and unfunny and unoriginal.


utkohoc

Ur on the wrong subreddit then bruh. Lmao


FriendlyGhost08

Yes man I am sure 30~ year old married man who manages a restaurant is on 4chan making greentexts


connor2600

BUT BUT THEY CANT BE HAPPY BECAUSE IM NOT HAPPY


IgneelSysyphus

it's from 4chan, any sign of happiness written there is only a cry of help.


Bioniclefucker

One year is kinda fast for marriage but it’s still cute, hope it’s not fake


AyaAishi

I have a friend who met someone and married within 3-4 months, still together, it might be 2 years married now. She was a person who dislikes commitment, too. but she just fell in love and they seem happy together.


Fooking-Degenerate

Survivor bias tho


AyaAishi

That is true, I was only stating this to show it is however possible. I think anon's situation wouldn't be too unrealistic, even though it might be a bit too early to marry. I hope this isn't fake nor gay, honestly.


UsernameTaken017

How would it be gay?


The_Official_Obama

You're not supposed to ask that


Fairin13

Anon banged a woman that had a banged a man before so basically their dicks touched. Gay.


catinterpreter

It's still very early days.


womerah

You should wait at least 2 years for the 'honeymoon' stage of the relationship to end before getting married IMO. Getting married is just a way of making your finances more annoying


AyaAishi

That's true, but I feel like if you get married and it works well for you, sure. besides their situation is a bit more complicated, they are married only in their religion, not the "legal" way. I would say why that is, yet it would be too personal to the both of them so I'll refrain from that.


womerah

I'm guessing they'd be shunned if they bumped crotches without being married first in their culture\religion.


AyaAishi

Good guess, but wrong.


61114311536123511

my parents agreed to get married like far too quick after they got together in their late twenties. Lasted till death did them part though 🤷‍♂️ Although they're the first people who'll go on record saying it was utter insanity to decide that fast


admiral_pelican

Parents got engaged 6 months after they started dating. That was 37 years ago. Still together and happy. Meanwhile my fiancé and I lived together for 6 years before I asked her to marry me.


AyaAishi

both are okay, both are adorable! I wish you a nice life with your fiancé, dude.


RIP-potatofish

I got married 10 months after my first date with my wife 19 years ago and still going strong. When you know, you know.


Chreed96

I was friends woth my wife for 3 years before we started dating. After 11 months we were engaged, 6 months after that married.


ReverendVerse

Wife and I dated for 9 months, got married 13 months after our first date. Been together 6.5 years with a beautiful baby daughter. Life is good frens


ShadowOfMen

Married my wife after 4 months. Been together 10 years so far


fds_1

>Husband was a junkie that left her, but only after he pumped her up, twice. Good luck on your cuck journey Anon


Lobstershaft

If anon cares about the kids in the first place there's no negatives, plus the kids get a good father figure and don't end up turning out as dropkicks like the usual people who don't grow up with a father figure. Even if you ignore that he can still easily have kids of his own with her


SenorBeef

It's a bad thing to love kids and give them a good life. What a joke that guy is.


Captain_Morgan-

Anon will be cucked like : 304543


TheDevilsAdvokaat

"a family of my own" Well...ok.


AyaAishi

I mean even if the family is not yours by blood it still can be "yours" because of the relationship and bond you have with them. But you wouldn't know that, considering we're on reddit.


TheDevilsAdvokaat

"But you wouldn't know that, considering we're on reddit." You're just being naive. "Our dates went well" - he's a single small business owner. She's a single mum with 2 kids. Of course the dates went well.


Fooking-Degenerate

My wife chose me over much richer guys tho Compatibility and attraction goes a long way. You probably wouldn't ruin your chance at finding the best partner because another one was richer, so why would a woman?


TheDevilsAdvokaat

There's some merit in your comment I think. But I'm not going to go further into what was really just a quick comment.


pursuitofmisery

This reply is too civil wtf


Degenerate-Implement

This you tho? https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/p5yx3n/do_you_have_a_rule_for_age_difference_in_casual/ https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/p6t5mm/lessons_from_15_years_of_learning_seduction_how/


ReverendVerse

Wife and I can't have kids, so we adopted. Our daughter is OUR daughter and I will kill any motherfuckers that would ever hurt her. Children don't need to be of blood to be your child. Blood has no bearing on the family bonds we form with our adopted children.


Firedamp_Weaponry

That's good for you. I wish you and your family well.


Doesitmatter_02

Anon took the cuckpill. A terrible decision for him, but much better for the kids.


Good_Ol_Weeb

Just cause they aren’t family by blood doesn’t mean they aren’t still family


Senator_Pie

It's his now.


cunk111

\> be me, 6 yo biker evil mastermind \> one night while riding i see a fat fuck running a pizza joint \> i love pizza but mom can't afford it because we're broke \> masterplan.exe \> fall from my bike on purpose, he rushes to help me and oxytocin rushes his weak brain \> the fuckers sees nothing coming, falls in love with mom and shit \> now this cuck does all my homework and feeds me pizza


finalrebel

Good for anon. I wish them all the best


pluginfan

The mum pushed her kid off the bike.


Severus_Majustus

"but mooom!" "Shut up Michael, do you want to eat ramen noodles all your life?" "I hate ramen..." "Then fall off, you little shit"


hotelactual777

This is a man with his own business! Only pizza joint in this little town - he must be doing well for himself. Your father left us little Billy, and mommy is sick of working. We need to find us a man who will take care of us. Fat pizza guy? Sure, he isn’t your father, who banged me hard and gave me the tingles, but he’s not around, mommy is getting older, and she is tired of being pumped and dumped by men who won’t commit. All mommy has to do it blow this guy a few times a month and we’ll have our finances secured in less than a year!


Den_Bover666

Shit, she even talks highly about you when you're not around? Put a ring.


eXclurel

Anon got scammed into marriage.


Elketro

He got played like a fiddle, "dates going well", yea duh, she's a single middle aged mother, she can't be picky.


jvfranco

Worse. He was scammed into parenthood and now he has to feed two kids from a druggie man.


Beleaguered_Castle_

A tale as old as time


John_Mint

Fake : anon can cook Gay : a 6 yo boy proposes a date to anon


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake : anon can cook > Gay : a 6 yo boy proposes a date to anon > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


wojtek858

Fake: anon getting vasectomy, like he's planning to bang random chicks, just like the Chad does Gay: eating someone's cum


the_opester

Good bot


Total-Nothing

Raising another man’s offsprings and marrying his hand me downs. Sad, many such cases!


Joll19

Kid set them up so he could have a father.


DeciTheSpy

He'd be here if he didn't, made the right choice.


leolindsey

I hope he isn't being love scammed.


Original_Dankster

Odds are [about the same](https://www.survivedivorce.com/second-marriage-divorce) as playing Russian roulette with four bullets.


mc4_life

Dude got cucked into raising two failed save games.


haveasliceofpizza

anon cucked himself. kek.


MassiveLefticool

I read the title as “ruins a pizza place” and got scared when the kid asked him out


rustyshaackleeford

"It gets better, bros. You might get a chance to raise someone else's kids"


stagger_lee___

She’s 45 and sucking off doctors at work while he’s playing nanny and paying the bills. Crafty bish.... I can only say I wish I could have had the bricks myself


Dangerous_Bloke

Anon raises another man's kids. Real and cucked.


DeweyCheatamAndHowe

Just add some Christmas and it’s a Hallmark movie


as588008

"Our kids". Those aren't your kids. Literally did a 360 and walked out of the room when I read that


Elketro

What low self-esteem can do to a mf


xzxzxzxz727

They are not your kids


Janoz

So literally captain save-a-ho?


kick_rocks22

Never give up anon. You too can marry a single mom and raise someone else’s children.


ContagiousDeathGuard

I think I'll just die alone, thanks anon


Elketro

For real that's a much better option than to fund lives for 2 stranger's kids


FactsArentHate

More like: Anon gets cucked by a cock-carousel riding whore who decided after having her fun and farting out some womb-turds that it's time to give a good man a chance. Fuck that noise.


_DonDraper_

Facts.


ZQM

Anon then wakes up, head folded over a dominos pizza box


TheUpperHand

fake: Anon is in a heterosexual relationship gay: offers sweets to a terrified little boy


Broda_osas360

Only been together for one year and your already decided to raise another man’s kids. Have some self respect


HwatBobbyBoy

>1 year later, the husband comes back & has cleaned up his act for the past 18 months. >She wants to try to work it out "for the kids".


TorinR90

100% this. Seen it more than once, literally the life story of my aunt and her first 2 husband's and 2 of my cousins and 1 of my classmates as well. Fucking awful


instantpowdy

Yeah those Zelda CDI jpgs fit everywhere. Please never stop using them, 4chan


Murgu007

Fake: anon is loved Gay: anon touches a little boy


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: anon is loved > Gay: anon touches a little boy > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


california_sugar

I will fuck any reasonably not ugly guy who runs a pizza place


IchBinDerAngler

Anon plays on another man's abondened safe game


Fort-Wahnee

lmao "our" kids


wojtek858

She must be a treasure since she decided to have 2 children with a druggie. And I think it's more probable that she's also taking something, rather than her man suddenly getting addicted out of nowhere.


iamfab69

cucked


CopperHands1

Cuck fantasy


CopperHands1

The ultimate cuck. Druggie chad is telling him thanks for paying child support


TheBigCR

My wife's kids! My wife's kids! Lol, whatever makes you happy I guess


JacobBartkus

I've read some fake shit on here but this takes the cake.Zero effort.


Soda_BoBomb

Anons wife settled cause she needed help with kids


Known_Acanthaceae_87

Anon raises another man’s children


dumbwaeguk

the kid: "hey mister, you should dew it with my mom"


Ritinsh

Where is the "worth it" part?


OrigamiMax

What’s it like investing time and energy so another man’s genetic progeny can flourish? Literally a cuckold


paperpenises

Oh so I need to own a restaurant now? Fuck that. I don't have a spare $100k laying around.


Longenuity

Plot twist: The kid was falling off his bike all over town and asking strange men to date his mom at her request. Anon was just the only loser desperate enough to say yes.


zaqwsx82211

Low key expected to find out the kid planned to fall because he wanted his mom to marry Anon in order to get free pizza for life


RubyDaArchangel

Based and pizzapilled


ByZocker

He got really creative with this one


FragrantBox6572

A 6 year old doesn't know wtf a date is.


EzraPerrin

Anon marries a 6 year old


Dusty1000287

I hope with all my heart this is real. If so, good for you anon.


Mail_____11

Real: gay Fake: mega gay


DisturbedWaffles2019

Moral of the story: Gives kids mountain dew Get milf wifey


basedpraxis

MAMA MIA


Phlummp

I like these greentexts which are normal stories and not “help my mum discovered the cum hole”