By - urboijesuschrist
from horny to depressed real quick
It just turned right around so quickly
Like a good techno build-up that drops on you. Just... in a sad sad way :(
Really killed my boner :(
Just like every other good cherry popping story
Real: This is quite detailed, so it might be real
Straight: Anon banged a girl
Be me chad fuck wife i type straight and feal vasectomy i weat cum off pussy of wifee
But also cuck because Chad fucked his wife
Ah yes the famous and real "first time with a girl two fingers deep all the way to orgasm"
It actually has a realistic setup.
Friend group meets up, girl twists ankle on hike, and someone would have to bring them back.
So it sounds like it could of happened.
But then her first time felt good when it typically hurts pretty bad. Like I suppose it's not impossible, but the pain of a first time tends to really get in the way. I'm calling fake on this one.
Thats actually a bit of a myth. At most it’s a bit of pressure. Now, can it hurt? Sure, for various reasons. But for consensual sex, if it’s painful, usually that’s just caused by being nervous and getting vaginismus or not being wet enough
I see. I heard for most of my life it always hurts and it only "confirmed" it for me when my wife and I had our first time together. I suppose if that's not the case, then I retract my accusation of fakery.
I mean I completely agree. I just think the setup sounds plausible. Plus, she could of just been saying that so anon wouldn’t worry or whatever not.
I'm leaning toward real. However, there's one detail that can't possibly be true. Anon said he didn't get hard until they were both naked in the shower and she started rubbing it. The second there's even the thought of something like this happening, he's gonna be bricked up.
He could just be trying to lie about that, or it might have went back down for a bit, and just reaffirmed itself.
He found the clit first try! That's a dead giveaway of fake!
This story is NOT bussin
Certified :( story
Maybe even a D':
Long love stories where the super hot chick dies at the end always remind me of that one suuuuuper long thread about the 10/10 girl anon meets at highschool/College (can't remember) and his jacked 9/10 friend and him sort of compete over her in a friendly way and anon ends up with one of the girls friends in the end
if anyone knows what I'm talking about please tell me the name or where to find it, it's such a good story 😭
ballad of ella?
YEEEEEES YOU ARE A FUCKING GOD SEND!!
i think you misspelled retard
meh, tomato tomahto
Want a link? I can grab one.
Go wild man, that whole sub is great.
Oh my god. Damn it. I knew it had to have some similarities, but holy shit I wasn’t prepared for that. I am at a complete loss for words. Now I have to try to sleep, while contemplating the meaning of life.. thank you for sharing that link for those of us who had managed to miss it before.
My claim: greentexts are actually a secret whitepill, because they allude to this kind of experience being possible, that there is something like this in the world, and you could experience. Ballad of Ella is my Exhibit A. My Exhibit B is probably another story on that sub, about three orphan kids managing to put a life together as runaways.
That was a fucking emotional roller coaster fucking shit
From happy to sad to happy again to fucking depressed holy shit.
Was reading this at work holy fuck almost cried
This takes me back, man
dont remind me ;_;
I just spent an hour reading it and god damn was it worth it. So detailed and well written. Thank you for that bro 😌
are you gay?
Might be retarded
You made me read that, which ended up making me cry. Fuck you, Anon. That shit was beautiful. i’ll pray for Ella and the Op. Thanks man, had a great time reading that.
Fake: 50calguy has a good time
Gay: 50calguy cried for OP when OP is obv male
I’ll tale that, Anon. I’ll assume it.
women aren't real retard
Fr dude, I’m still thinking about it. Poor girl dude… poor girl. Wherever she is, I hope shes alright. Same for OP. These things stick with us forever. 💔
Should get a Nobel price for writing that one
I’ve read hundreds if not up to thousands books and not a single one has made me feel like that one
Like Sasha, everytime I hear that name, I cry.
Bro I think I spent like a good half 20 minutes reading that. My emotions 💔
So, 10 minutes?
This took me like 40 minutes to read. Am I retarded?
i needed an hour to read this.i used to call myself a bookworm until this guy told me he read the story 3 times faster. words can't describe how ashamed i am
Even worse, it took him *half* of 20 minutes, so 10 minutes apparently. Look at you and I here taking half of 120 minutes and 80 minutes respectively. So sad.
Something tells me that guy isn't as smart as he wants us to think.
No literally like 20 minutes. I got a text just as I started reading it
holy shit. FUCKING PAINNNNNNN
Man I started reading this once a long time ago and didnt finish. Thanks for posting.
Holy fuck I was not ready for this, god damn man
Spent an 45 min on that, was quite a sad story
What’s with greentext stories and chicks getting ran over by a drunk driver, most of these stories end like that
just anti booze cruise propaganda 🙄
literally 1984 smh my head
Ballad of Ella iirc
Seems interesting, pls help us out with the story guys
Story is not bad but the graphic sex is unneeded
holy fuck that was incredible, thanks for finding it
I didn't lol another comment just upper than me did ! Was just notifying this user who was asking but thank you anyway
Read this comment over an hour ago, only returning to this post now. Thanks man, there goes 75 minutes.
Was thinking this would end with anon waking up in a horse cart.
Instead it ended sadly. Sorry it happened anon. But also be glad you had the experience.
>Was thinking this would end with anon waking up in a horse cart.
Skipped to the last page just to see if it was gonna be a waste of time or not
honestly with those long posts that's my automatic thing to do lmao. I ain't reading a book just to have Todd Howard troll me in the end
Any greentext this long is a waste of time, even when it's not just building a punchline.
I read 5 pages of what was 99% just someone bragging about their sexual experiences and I'm supposed to feel something because of a token "she got hit by a car" ending that probably was just made up so anon could post his sexytime story without people calling him out on it. The only thing I feel is resentment for wasting 3 minutes.
I was expecting either doing the dinosaur or another song pun
I was waiting for anon to get in one little fight with the hikers and get moved to his aunt and uncle's in bel air
>be me (God's drunkest driver)
>See some girl cycling on the left side of the sidewalk (sinner)
>Ram her with my truck, then retro (double tap that bitch)
>Go to prison (rent free)
>Later learn she had sex (Godsplan.mp4)
the real greentext is in the comments
the real greentext is the friends we made along the way
Gang alcohol stays winning 😎👍🥃🍻🍻🍾🍷🍷🍺🍺
I can’t decide whether I love or hate this lmao
I also choose this guy's dead girlfriend.
What the fuck, fuck this shit. Ballad of Ella type of shit
>Bla bla me like girl
>bla bla I confess, girl like me back
>bla bla sexy sex
>bla bla more sex
>bla bla sudden death.
It's been 80 years I am succesful but dont have sex
It's true, I was the sexy sex
IKR and people eat this shit up like it's the greatest literature they've ever read or something. Legit the worst type of greentext, fake and gay taken to the extreme.
No, ballad of ella was more, and insane.
This is the second comment section I've seen you in today, wtf
If I had a nickel for every long greentext depicting the development of a relationship between a guy and a girl with graphics descriptions of sex that ends up with the girl dying I'd have... Quite a few nickels actually.
It's so obviously fake and gay it's sad because it's probably written by some 17 year old neckbeard wishing this was literally him
Of all the green texts that I hope are fake, I hope this one is the fakest, cause......... damn anon...
I hope this is fake and gay
This is just Ella all over again Jesus Christ
Preferred this tbh although ballad of Ella is better written, their description of sex is just too much
Agree with you, Ballad of Ella is very exaggerated in some ways, but I think it communicates beautifully how highly Anon thought of her
Still both are extremely gut wrenching to me
Luckily it’s probably a fake story anon made up in his mind so he can seem like the “lonely, detached type” to women, even though in reality he’s just autistic and can’t talk to women without trying to be like Ryan Gosling.
I’m certain the part where he fingered her as fast as he could for 10 secs until orgasm was true
I started wanking half way through
go outside and just look at the grass. just look at it. you don't need to touch it.
Really? I couldn't even get hard until the end
I was waiting for a song punchline ........ like the cotton eye joe one
I was hoping for Skyrim but that would have worked too.
"she grabs the waste of my pants" bro shit himself fr 💀
I didn't finish reading before I made that comment
Imagine being in a relationship with someone for months, you end up dying and the only thing they ever talk about you is the first time they boned you.
Anon got topped in a small cabin in the woods
(did not read it all)
So let's review: Teenage virgin, first encounter with his crush. She offers to shower with him, shows him her boobs, they both get naked, she touches his dick, he touches her boobs, they make out...
And then she rubs his cock, then and only then does he become rock hard. This is how we know it's bullshit, teenage me would have been rock hard before we even got to the bathroom
Nervousness bro, makes it tricky
people actually find this sad? its just a badly written erotica lmfao
Yeah I agree, I read until the end because I expected a punchline, but it was just some bad erotica with a shitty "sad" twist in the end
best part about this all is smoothbrains thinking this is real due to the "realistic" set up.
yes, a greentext about rapidly fingering a girl until orgasm as she was bleeding due to possible vaginal tearing is realistic as fuck.
a greentext, about sex....real
That ending hit harder than the vehicle.
This took a sad twist which I wasn’t expecting
I legitimately feel very sad for anon and his gf
I'm glad this story is fake as fuck
Skipped right to the end, no punchline. This might actually be worth my time...
Edit: Saving 1, 2, 3, and the first part of 4 to my folder. The last part though... damn.
Holy shit… bruh. So much oof.
That JPG is from one of Wendigoon's vids right?
I think technically the Mandela catalogue but wendigoon covered it and included the image
So I was going through and I know there was something weird with that image. IIRC Wengioon was covering a conspiracy iceberg and got the image from somewhere for a topic on a layer of the iceberg. Then the cr4eator of the Mandela catalog saw it and used it as the intruder image, then Wendi saw it and made a comment in one of his Mandela vids. Trying to go through it again right now and see if I am remembering it correcctly.
So I was going through and I know there was something weird with that image. IIRC Wengioon was covering a conspiracy iceberg and got the image from somewhere for a topic on a layer of the iceberg. Then the creator of the Mandela catalog saw it and used it as the intruder image, then Wendi saw it and made a comment in one of his Mandela vids. Trying to go through it again right now and see if I am remembering it correcctly.
Too long didn’t read. I will only read cute gay LARP. Get this garbage off my screen.
Bro the ending was so depressing
Man I was expecting a funny twist at the end, instead got hit in the feels.
this went from 0 to 100 to 10000
I skipped to the end expecting song lyrics.
Of course reddit shows me this the day my girlfriend dumps me
You can actually feel the point that anon orgasmed from his edge sesh while writing this, and then immediately goes into post-nut clarity and gives us the twist ending
I hope this is true
Damn… Thats Harsh.
I thought it was a happy story, but the ending was depressing as fuck. I hope anon will recover
He’s 27 he can find love again lowkey. Hell he’s got until… death
Whose fantasy is this
Nope. Not reading all that shit.
fake and gay, no one can buy a house in this economy.
Fake and gay. Also should have bought her a car
False and homosexual.
Anyone who had a girl who "loved" his cock, would have learned that this possibility existed and attempted to make it happen again way the fuck before going to a welding school.
its not true its not true its not true its not true its not true its not true
anon is lying to make us feel sad, Jess and Anon are actually living happily together now with 2 kids and a dog
Should probably tag NSFW
anon was abducted by a wendigo in the forest and is now trapped in his own personal nightmare from which there will be no escape
Imagine not getting over your first teenage girlfriend. Anon is a goddamn pussy.
Can anyone give a TL;DR?
Awe... Damn man... This one hit me right in the feels..
The feels are located in the balls, but still..
I actually got emotional reading tjis
I am getting an impression that not everything on that site may be 100 percent truthful
What? Where’s the punchline? This… this wasn’t one of the long setups building a joke? Where rick roll?
I was gonna say this just seems like some horny coomer writing a lobe story he never had. But the end just made me sad :(
I really hope it's fake and gay. I can't imagine losing your highschool sweetheart like that
Anons fake story has touched my heart
This was genuinely fun to read until *that* part. Even I feel like lost someone. Sheesh.
Dude, I came here to laugh, not to feel.
Sound very similar to looking for Alaska …
So good to so bad in one line.
are you kidding me…
Huh. Strange seeing stories like this without an unoriginal unfunny punchline at the end.
It's the Ballad of Ella all over again
Anon is circumcised (not British)
My boner just go limp bruh wtf
This could not end well.
Is this a rip off of that 4chan story about Ella?
\[No was that Ella story was legit, tbh, but it was well written\]
op really detailed the sex like scene like if it was a science document
i was not ready for the ending
Horny but expecting a gotcha ending.
i thought it was gonna end with "alarm goes off" but instead it ended with depression
That story took a crazy turn
"One of my fav memories"
Bullshit that's his only memory.
If this is true then I’m sorry bro.. 😞
This made me horny, then I cried.. I think I may be taking Reddit too seriously
True love was taken from anon
Out of all the things that never happened, this never happened the most
Dang dude. That hit me right in the feels.
Me was happy, now me sad
The end hit me hard..
Im getting close and that curveball hits. I wanted my dick to cry not my eyes man 😢 god bless the person in the greentext even though it looks like a excerpt from “Bosom Buddies” i hope the best for him
Never thought a green text would make me sad...
It was all a dream. Anon used to read word up magazine
Welding school is the way to go… but seriously, F in the chat